More Shit Than a Biofuel Site

Internationally renowned for being full of more shit than a biofuel site, Kanye West is at it again. This time...For GQ.

In his now widely-ridiculed interview with GQ, Kanye tells the world that - in order to succeed - you need some Kim K skills. Please hold whilst I quit my degree and hit record. Kanye also reveals his dream to build amusement parks. Picture this: roller-coaster carts in the shape of Kanye's ever-increasing swellhead so that visitors can bask in the deepness of his thoughts and get the real Kanye experience. Personally, I think it's brilliant.

So, as a mark of respect and appreciation for the hours of amusement to be had from this walking anthology of a man, I've handpicked five of my favourite Kanye quotes. 

Here's to Kanye West: certified bullshitter and extreme narcissist:

1. 'I don't even listen to rap. My apartment is too nice to listen to rap in.'

Fuck, I've totally been disrespecting my house. My parents are gonna' be soooooo pissed when they come back from work and the house has transformed from Mozart's country escape to some graffiti-cladded shack in the Bronx.


2. “Nike told me, 'We can't give you royalties because you're not a professional athlete.' I told them, 'I go to the Garden and play one on no one. I'm a performance athlete.”

Kanye, fuck Nike. They just hating. People just don't understand the raw skill and dedication of one on none. People just don't appreciate how deep the struggle is when you kick the ball to a motherfucker that just ain't there. Then you gotta stand and wait to see if the wind will blow it back. Turns out, nobody on your side - not even the wind. It's mental abuse. It's like an eternal struggle of being that one kid nobody wants on the team.


3. [On his 45 minute wedding speech]: 'What I talked about in it was the idea of celebrity, and celebrities being treated like blacks were in the '60s, having no rights, and the fact that people can slander your name. I said that in the toast."

Back of the bus: Rosa Parks. Back of the private limo: Kanye West. But like really, it's just so disrespectful to Kanye and his rights for a chauffeur to open Kanye's door and tell him to sit in the back of the limo. Kanye, fuck those polite, underpaid motherfuckers that make your life easy. The limo rights movement is coming...


4. 'I hate when I'm on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle.'

Just sat here imagining the day Kanye woke up next to Kim like 'Oh great, now I gotta be responsible for yo baby too'. 

Seriously though, that sense of responsibility when you wake up next to that free water bottle...Like fuck, wow, that air hostess just looked at my peaceful slumber and thought that I could handle this power...That shit just makes you feel so worthy and respected. And then that pilot, he gotta be responsible for all the water bottles...And the food. That's just too crazy. Only God can have that much power. So, wait..The pilot is God? Oh shit, that's deep...


5. 'No one is looking at what [President] Obama is wearing. Michelle Obama cannot Instagram a [bikini] pic like what my girl Instagrammed the other day…'

Damn you and your self-respect, Michelle. Obama, you better send your chick to Victoria's Secret and sort that shit out. Titties are the new black, and if you ain't with us, Michelle, then you don't care about the motherfucking people!

So now that I've told you some of mine...What are your favourite, most ridiculously memorable Kanye quotes?