The Real House-Babies of Gabbana

I'm sorry but, Oh my Lord...Have you seen the Baby Gabbana collection? I literally just ovulated. No, really. Admittedly, I've never had more responsibility than a Baby Born doll (which - to my surprise - shat everywhere), but my maternal hormones are in overdrive right now. 

Pleaaaaaaaase!! You cannot tell me that you don't appreciate the jumper dress and matching headband combo. And that perfectly coiffed hair? I'm dying here. LOOK. AT. THOSE. SLING-BACKS. What is this? The Real House-Babies of Gabbana? 

And that fruitbowl-esque trim is just killing me. ZARA, I'm beggggggging you, please imitate the fuck out of this. I'll take an XS, please and thank you.

Now please, take a moment of silence to look at that fucking two-piece. Gaaaah, my heart is totally pining right now. And these two smug dumplings are just cracking up like:

"Yeah homegirl, we the flyest bitches in nursery, those peasant whores got nothing on us. I know Jake gonna' invite me to his 5th birthday party before that Stella bitch now". 

But seriously though, who wouldn't want (what looks like) a bunny's asshole in place of a belly button? I need it in my life...Immediately. 

So by now, realistically, the only thing that could top that two-piece is a cape. 


Oh, for FUCKsake...

It's a fucking cape!! I can't even deal with this mental torture. Babies are not supposed to be this chic. Little divas out here with the fur snood and everythang, looking like some baby Cruella. And that perfectly positioned squirrel, just chilling in those pink roses, looking fresh off National Geographic...I'm done. Totally checking out. Logging off. Bye.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is: from here on out I'm either reproducing quicker than Kourtney Kardashian, or Dolce and Gabbana seriously need to make these outfits in my size.

I know, I know, kids are for life, not just for A/W'14 but really...It's just so, so, so wrong for kids clothes to be this good. Dolce and Gabbana out here causing more babies than Marvin Gaye...