Ok, so it's that time of year and everyone is busy raving about the A/W 14 campaigns - if you haven't had a browse, you reeeeally should. But whilst we were busy swooning over Kit Harrington for Jimmy Choo (four brownie points for you, you go Jim Choo Choo) and yet struggling to fathom those transformer-esque helmet hairdos sported by the Bottega Veneta models, or that very stiff and uncomfortable pose of Adriana Lima's for Jason Wu, we couldn't help but be drawn in by this beauty: Rita Ora, for Roberto Cavalli.
Now, in case you haven't guessed it from the play on words in the title post, that last comment of mine was laced with the sweetest of sarcasms, and this is why:
1. We love Marilyn, but we're totally fed up of seeing everyone's poor attempts to resurrect her style. We know, we know, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and all that...But honestly, the media are totally cloning us into one person...What ever happened to originality? We've already had some Marilyn comparisons this week after Kendall Jenner posted a snap of herself wrapped up in a white hotel bed sheet. Considering that I spend the majority of my life in my own white duvet cocoon, I must have now evolved into Ms Monroe herself. No? Didn't think so. Anyway, the bleached out wig just really isn't doing it for us, or Rita's skin tone...
2. Surely you've noticed by now? It's the whole reason that we're so focused on this campaign, totally distracted from the dress and that chic dead zebra that Rita is stamping all over...Come on. Please...Look at that arm. Or well, rather what's left of it. Cavalli's photoshop assistant went to town (and back) on that badboy. Like on a serious note, that arm is basically a visual definition of everything that is wrong with society. It's 2014 and to be honest, we're just wondering when the media and these large corporate fashion companies are going to show us a female that looks like her head can actually balance on her body without scaffolding and tube-feeding assistance. In real life, Rita actually has a perfectly normal and healthy (can we please have emphasis on that word: healthy) physique, and yet once again it was deemed necessary that she be made to look like she hasn't eaten in years. So are we surprised that eating disorders are rising in numbers quicker than the fad on those food packaging inspired clutch bags? We think not. How ironic though that we're sending models on the verge of anorexia down the runway carrying McDonald's fries as a clutch. It's so ironic that it's almost barbaric...
So, photoshop assistants and creative directors, please take note:
1. The arm of a model should actually be significantly wider than the circumference of their finger
2. The only time that ribs should be visible is as a number 69 from the local Chinese takeaway
3. It would be so refreshing to actually be able to relate to a woman in one of these campaigns. You might actually receive more media coverage from the sheer shock that a size eight female might cause. Like, be real though, is this a fashion campaign or a casting for Oxfam?
5. Lighten up, have a McDonald's. You know, live a little.
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