Poison Apples on Standby, Please...

Word on the street is, there's a new app in town. The Makeup Genius app by L'Oreal is supposedly every girls magic mirror on the wall. In other words, if you suddenly look at your bestie and turn green with envy after realising that you look like shit today, you can put the poison apples on standby and virtually enhance your face with different eyeliners, blushers, eyeshadows and lipsticks (although the selection is apparently extremely limited - with some even likening the eyeshadow choices to those most commonly found in the purse of a drag queen).

In technical terms, the Makeup Genius app uses facial mapping technology to transform the front-camera of iPhones and iPads (Android users, quit yo' hatin') into a virtual mirror, allowing consumers to try on L'Oreal products (excluding foundations, bronzers and mascaras...So, hardly any L'Oreal products then?) in real-time. Makeup Genius has the capability to detect and capture 64 facial data points and 100 facial expressions, allowing users to view their new looks from all angles. Fancy, huh? At present, many are hailing the app as "revolutionary" but, in actual fact, it's really nothing that we haven't seen a hundred times over with virtual makeover games for kids and the rise in "virtual fitting rooms" both in-store and online. The app will no doubt be a perfect boredom-filler but, with such a limited product selection, there is clearly scope for improvement...

Whilst the app is only currently available in the US app store so I can't actually try it out for myself, aside of the apps ability to follow me through my most alluring and repelling of facial expressions, I have a dreadful feeling that it's going to be a lot like those shitty Barbie makeover games that left your seven-year-old self thinking that you were the hottest thing since that chiselled V hiding in Ken's army combats. Realistically, aside of inevitably being the latest Instagram filter, I really don't see the point...

In actual fact, the app is just a clever marketing ploy to try and entice people to buy more L'Oreal products. But, do I really believe that virtual and real L'Oreal products are going to achieve the same end result? Actually, having been a hardcore virtual dress-up and makeover game fanatic as a child...No, I'm really not that gullible. In fact, considering that L'Oreal products are endorsed and promoted by celebrities with My Little Pony's tail swinging from their scalps and their eyelids, I don't even trust real L'Oreal products to be honest. Like for real though, even the girl in the official advertisement (as shown above) looks like some bratty kid just dragged her off the shelf mid-tantrum at Toys'r'us. 

So, unless it includes Beyonce's weave and Nicole Sherzy's eyelashes, I'm just not buying the claims of remarkable precision. If I really wanted an accurate "try before you buy" experience, I'd head over to Selfridges and order the rich bitch treatment instead of fanny-arsing around on an app that will, no doubt, leave me looking like I just came fresh off the production line. Besides, considering that L'Oreal still tests on animals, it'd probably be far more fitting if L'Oreal aimed the app at pets instead...